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Who Pays For the Bridesmaids And Groomsmen?
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Who Pays For the Bridesmaids And Groomsmen?

So, you have been planning your wedding and the time has come to decide on dresses for the bridesmaids. Buying bridesmaids dresses for all your bridesmaids along with their hair, make-up and flowers can cost a lot. You probably have other wedding expenses building up, so you would probably like your bridesmaids to pay for as much as possible. Like many, you may be wondering about the appropriate etiquette. The big question is, "should I expect my bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses?"

The answer is that it is perfectly okay to expect your bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses. The general rule is that the bridesmaids pay their own way.

However, not all bridal parties are the same. Each has their own unique dynamic. You may have bridesmaids who have never been married and therefore do not completely understand how expensive a wedding can be. Some of your bridesmaids may have differing opinions. They may feel that since the bride chooses the look of the bridesmaids dresses, she should pay for it. This is especially the case if you choose a style that doesn't match the unique tastes of some of your bridesmaids. Some bridesmaids may resent having to spend hundreds of dollars on a dress that they feel they will never wear again. You may even have some bridesmaids who would like to pay for their dress, but they might not be in the best financial position and the price tag might be out of there budget.

If you find yourself in this situation… don't worry about it. There are many solutions for creating a win/win situation for everyone. Firstly, it is best to be flexible. Embrace the unique dynamic of your bridal party. Look at the good in your bridesmaids. Instead of stubbornly sticking to "the rule", my suggestion would be to find a compromise that works for everyone. As a result your bridal party will be filled with the good spirit needed to make your wedding day extra special.

Communicate your point of view to your bridesmaids. Perhaps they just need you to explain that the wedding costs are building up and you would really appreciate their support in this matter. Since your bridesmaids are chosen from close friends and family, often thoroughly communicating your challenges may be enough for them to change their opinions.

If your bridesmaids are a little more stubborn, the obvious solution is to share the costs with them. Perhaps they can pay for the dress and you can pay for the hair and make-up or vice versa.

A really good alternative may be to find the style you like at a designer label shop and get a dressmaker to make the dresses for you. A good dressmaker will do a fantastic job. All you have to do is supply the fabric, which is actually a benefit because you get to choose the exact colours that you want. The same $300 - $500 dress in a store may cost as little as $100 (or even less) if you get a dressmaker to create it.

At the end of the day, paying a bit for the dresses is a small price to pay for keeping the peace. Once the wedding is over with you are not going to remember how much money you spent, instead, you will be left with the memory of the experience. You may not want to break the "bridesmaids must pay rule" – but if doing so means that you will be left with pleasant memories of your wedding planning process and big day, it might be worth considering.

If you would like a polite way way to request monetary gifts for your wedding, please feel free to contact us or view our selection of wishing wells. We are happy to assist with all wishing well requests.

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